When leaders try to “sell” the change
by Tijs Besieux, PhD
Dad #1, talking to his three teenage kids:
“Kids, fantastic news! After saving for years, we’re going on a 3-week trip to Japan! It’s a 14-hour flight and a 7-hour time shift; what a grand adventure! The culture is totally different, and they have this delicacy called shiokara, basically fermented squid guts, that we have to try! We also booked a guide for a 3-day hike on the Kii Peninsula; a perfect intro to hiking since we don't do much of it at home. Plus, we got you this cool real-time voice translation app on your phones, which is super useful because almost no one speaks English or Dutch in the rural areas. We can't wait!”
Dad #2, talking to his three teenage kids:
“Kids, after saving up, we can finally afford a 3-week trip to Japan as a family. It’s a lifelong dream for your mom and me. And we hope you'll love it too. But we know this isn't our usual North Sea holiday. Japan is far away from Amsterdam; its culture and local habits are, in many ways, different from ours; we’d love to embark on adventures that are new to us as a family while there; and there’s also a clear trade-off. Being away for 3 whole weeks means you won’t have the opportunity to hang out with your friends. So we want to suggest a few things. Tonight, we’ll try a local Japanese restaurant to find dishes you actually like. For the Kii Peninsula hike that we'd like to do, let's decide together whether to make it a 2-, 3-, or 4-day expedition. And since we’ll be far away from friends and in a different time zone, we’ve arranged sufficient data plans so you can all stay connected with whoever’s relevant to you. We want to shape this adventure together.”
If we ran an A/B test 100 times, which dad faces the most resistance? My money is on Dad #1.
I see the same pattern when leaders try to “sell” change. They focus heavily on the features of the new direction, shining a bright light on all the fantastic possibilities. But in doing so, they unintentionally create a stark contrast with the current reality, fueling anxiety and triggering resistance.
Perhaps a different approach to communicating change is to not only focus on the benefits of the change, but also (and perhaps, sometimes more importantly) to anticipate anxiety and reduce the friction that might prevent people from following along toward the ‘new reality’.
Dad #1 works hard to sell the dream. Dad #2 practices an empathetic perspective to make it easier to follow along. Both mean well, but only one is actually leading change.