Leaders, you cannot hide.
Over the past two weeks, my calendar was jampacked with fly-on-the-wall sessions. In short, I observe a meeting and provide feedback to the leader afterward based on a pre-defined set of skills.
One pattern I notice is how the behavior of leaders is under the microscope of meeting participants.
“You could tell that my boss John was in a bad mood today. When he spoke, it was very brief and directive, and most of the time, it seemed like his mind was somewhere else”, Chris, a meeting participant, confessed to me. When I asked what observations Chris had about other participants, he said, “I think it’s more accepted for participants to sort of lean back during a meeting, but not for leaders. They need to perform at all times. That's why they're being paid more.”
During meetings, employees have expectations of leaders. Being explicit on the objective of the meeting, making sure every participant has the opportunity to contribute, and creating clarity on actionable next steps—to name a few.
So, leaders cannot hide themselves when they have an off day. People will pick up on implicit signals, often faster than most leaders might think.
Leaders are humans, too, having good and bad days like everyone else. So, the question is not whether we should expect leaders to switch off their emotions during a meeting.
Framed more productively, the question is: What do leaders need to effectively cope with their emotions in a day-to-day reality often characterized by back-to-back meetings during which employees, perhaps rightfully so, expect high-impact contributions from their boss?
Shying away from what influences leaders' thoughts and feelings may work in the short term but might backfire in the long term. More openness from leaders and employees about how they bring themselves to a meeting and a brief dialogue on how to use these insights in a productive way, could be a first step forward.