Negative feedback elicits negative emotions. Here’s how to use this dynamic for good.
Leaders want employees to give candid feedback. But when this happens, for instance when a meeting participant says the meeting is not helping to achieve the goals, this invokes a series of negative emotions experienced by the leader.
As you know, emotions can predict our behavior. For instance, feeling incompetent may lead to behavior aimed at protecting one's ego.
Effective leaders make optimal use of the space that lies between receiving feedback and how they respond to it.
It's normal to feel embarrassed, even incompetent when someone says the meeting you are in charge of is not effective. It simply means that you care.
So, leaders can try a three-step approach when receiving direct, negative feedback.
Step 1: "Thanks for sharing your point of view, I can imagine it must have been difficult to voice your concern."
Step 2: "Can you help me better understand your feedback, perhaps by sharing your thinking?"
Step 3: "Based on what you just shared, how would an optimal solution look like from your end?"
Step 3 does not mean that as a leader you have to agree with every feedback. However, it will help you in generating solutions that you can decide on.